Anthony Bourdain – New Zealand Part 2
Speaking of dinner all this fresh air of New Zealand’s country air is starting to make me hungry. As I proudly return to my lodge with my triumphant band of happy huntsmen, Tania takes out the opportunity to point out my contributions to the hunt. Well, minimum.
…. But you didn’t stick it?
No, you know, I didn’t think that I would be so good at that. I didn’t want to spend a lot of unnecessary time brooding around in there. My blood lust is not so strong.
Now this got me kicked out of a Hollywood height so make sure to ask at the front desk before trying this yourself. But here at Mud-Brick it’s standard operating procedure, you bring it you butch it.
Oh yeah, almost there.
Is it true…
Okay, I’ll have to put the knife in them, peel it down. It’s a lot of skin and lots of people singe them, me myself and most people I know prefer not to singe them because you get the burnt hair taste.
Hmm.. how about shaving it and wax it?
Yeah, I could do it.
This will be me someday, I just know it. Killed and incinerated on National Television. He looks comfortably like me now.
Starting to, isn’t it… bit different from you’ve seen him earlier.
We take his head right off?
Yeah we take it off.
Oh, you twist it right off there.
After this skilled skinning and beheading my pal Andy turns operations to the professional, me.
No problemo dude, not the first time I have been elbowed deep into blood but that’s another story.
I’ll burn that around and I’ll stuff it and roll it.
Take a look at what we are having for dinner tonight.
See the anatomy is amazingly similar to that most magical of animals – pig.
You want this out.
Yeah, just cut that out.
I’ll take care of the bony, that’s my model and let Andy walk me through some local recipe basics.
So make the cuts for the apple, pineapple and their juices and then spray crumbs beside some sage and onion and then mix herbs.
And then does make a roll out of it, and a bit pops out, if it comes out its OK.
This is beginning to look familiar, here’s the fun part, I love doing this, it’s been a while but ..
It’s like riding a bike, or tying your shoes. Now watch closely, the rabbit comes out of the hole , it goes round the tree, and ties his big floppy here several times around his delicious friend, now it’s off to the school and remember don’t talk to the nice man with a candy.
Oh my.. it looks like a brought one
Now a little bit of nostalgia for the old folks and another basket pest played on the farm land, eradicated. Next patient!
See my friend, a savage and unlovely wild boar could be your friend, this guy for instance just a little bit of salt, pepper, perform a little pre-heated 375 degrees in an oven, let them go to about 25-30 minutes, crank it down to about 325, for I am guessing, about an hour, an hour and a quarter, you’re looking for an internal temperature of pretty damn hot.
With plenty of time till dinner, it’s time I think for a well deserved cold one. You know I might as well pick up some beer for dinner while I am town.
What we have got going on over here is we have got a tank full of water, we get here in the morning
Meet Greg, owner of Harrington’s Brewry who has been making life a little more tolerable for his countrymen for some time now.
Take beer at a 103 degrees, put it through…. beer is here fermented which will convert the sugar into alcohol.. there’s a way for a bit of oxygen to come …. all over here go into the Lagar’s process which is in the cold room next door. That’s kept in there for about a good month there for Lagar …
Right .. Ok
This is not so interesting frankly. I’d like to drink beer, watching it made, eh, on second thoughts Greg, why don’t we just sit down and read Lagar’s memoirs.
We a whole tank full of beer is using CO2..
Yeast, malt, harps, yeah yeah yeah… I know, I grew up with those damn commercials, enough talk about beer, let’s drink some beer.
Oh year, that’s good. That’s delicious, chocolaty.
So, I heard you say, you own a pub.
Yeah, I‘ve setup a little bar of our own.
What’s that, beer in a glass? Yes, that’s where beer should be. Lead the way, my friend.
A bar next to a barber like the phonebook. Recently focus groups have determined that most Americans don’t like seeing me drinking a lot on the camera, so the question is – haircut, good grooming or more beer. Hmm… beer.
These focus groups are making me paranoid, if beer is bad what will they think of my complicity in porcine murder. That scene is not helping me with that vital female 32 to 48 demographic. Was this a bad career move? You know, I feel genuinely remorseful, I am drowning in guilt. Oh, I forgot, I promised to bring home beer for dinner.
Which of your fine beverages would be best served with wild boar?
I’d probably say, you’d want like a diet porter.
That’s all, thank you.
This will wash away all the guilt and shame of having slaughtered a highly intelligent animal.
The beer’s not helping, I still feel guilty and ashamed. Maybe those vegetarians were right, maybe all living things need to be protected, maybe the world would be a better place if we all lived on nuts and berries frolicking with our animal friends in blissful harmony – sharing tuneful feet together in the old wallow.
Cheers, let’s have a couple more of these and go kill something.
One pint down and I am getting hungry for wild boar. I better get back to the lodge before they eat all the good parts.
The hammock is looking awfully inviting right now. Tania has other ideas – wild boar gravy, I can do that.
Yeah, our little friend – the boar. Oh, it’s nice to see your cradle to the grave.
The whole blood-thirsty gang is gathered for dinner. My momentarily lapse in a veggie similitude is a distant memory. No time to rest after dinner. I am put to work on a traditional Kiwi pavlova.
This is the most famous dessert.
It’s a pav
It’s a pav and was invented by the Kiwis.
Didn’t I tell you it was?
Yes, it was.
They love their pavlovas here in New Zealand.
This is a sweet meringue with whipped cream on the outside. Best I could tell.
Pavlova is then topped with feijoa and kiwis, for being drizzled with a passion fruit sauce.
Oh yeah, that is good. So we are sure of the province of this, this is a definite New Zealand thing?
I, it’s in the Edmund’s cook book.
I am not questioning anything, no I am questioning.
………..this book has been around forever.
Oh, originally it was introduced to New Zealand in 1946, thought to be an American invention, made up from the industrial craft cheese corporation.
They are on to something too, it’s delicious but even after this fluffy dessert I am feeling wanderlust for more goodies. This outdoorsy lifestyle has its good points, I am liking this a lot. Now, if I can just find the business centre in this steam room in this joint.
If you thought the boar looked good, next I am off to a beach barbeque sure to be a memorable spread, if I make it there alive. For my next adventure it’s off to the remote northland coast of New Zealand in a surfer’s paradise. I am lucky enough to be invited to a barbeque by Al Brown, one of the country’s leading chefs. I guess the news of my stinking at the place of the Savour Festival is yet to reach this area. Only catch is that the barbeque is on an isolated beach accessible only at low tide on four wheels. You know what they say, the harder it is to get, the better the food.
You don’t really have to use the footbrake, you are using this brake here, the handbrake.
Time for quick lesson from Greg Hall – local four wheel expert. Key turns on over here, the start, it goes drive upfront and the reverse gear on the back. Ok?
Alright, I get it, I get it, it’s like driving an oversized power wheels jeep. Can we speed this up trail? I need what I need to know and I am hungry.
Finally, I can almost smell that barbeque from here. Yeeeha, this is fun. Nothing like driving down a pristine beach, salt air in your nostrils, burning up around 2 gallons of gasoline per mile. Oh look, heaps of decomposing sea-weed. Let’s stop.
They should pick up this light stuff over here which is actually algae. Doctors use it in stereo medium to draw bacteria and things.
And our friend Feranadri Abul used to stuff a lot of to thicken his hot jelly consommé. You know a lot of molecular gastronomy relies on this stuff.
I don’t want to sidetrack things with an obscure food nerd referenced to precious seaweed but I can’t help it, I was a chef once.