New Zealand – Comedy

You have here what seems like an innocent word. English – you might think “Whak-a-papa”, something similar to that. However, here in New Zealand, well James, why don’t you help explain this, how do you say this word? “Whaka-papa” That is “Whak-a-papa”, there is a word on the other side. This is how to speak New Zealand 101.

Okay, we have the letters “N” and “Zee”. However, when you are in New Zealand, James — “N-Zed”. Aah! Slight difference. If you are wearing something like flip-flops, Rick, what would you call those? “Jandals”. Now Sam, if you were to ask your pastor to pass you the pasta what would you say?

“Pass the pasta, pastor”… I don’t think that’s right, Rick – “It’s pass the pastor, pasta”. Oh, alright! “That was pass the pasta, pastor.” “I am confused.” And if you were to put something in the back of your car what would you put it into.” “It’s in your boot mate” Here it is. “Whatever is in the back of your car, is in your boot mate.” Not the trunk, it’s the boot. What would you call a big, grizzly thing, that would growl at you and eat you.

“A bear” What would you drink..? What drink has alcohol in it? “A beer”.. Did you hear any difference? “Uh-uh” And what is a soft fluffy toy that you would often give to small children. “It’s a bear”, “Teddy bear” They don’t say “e” like we do, they say “ay”. I’d love to have a teddy bear. Is there anything else you can think of? “Oh! She’ll be right mate.” Okay, what does “Oh! She’ll be right mate” mean?. “It means she will be right” So it’s like you are doing good, alright. “It means that women are always right.” Ohhhh! “It means it’s okay, it’s good” Good to know, thank you. “She’ll be right is just she’ll be right, don’t worry about her, no worries mate, no worries” What do you put at the end of any adjective to make it cool?

“As” So say something. “Sweet as”, what if something is really weird. “Weird as” So everything just has “as” at the end of it. “Cool as”. Cool as… cheer bro. “Cheer bro” Kiora is to say hello. And what’s a resume called here? “CV – Curriculum vitae” If someone quits at a sport like Dan you might taunt him and call him what? “Piker” A Piker. ” A what?” Dan would be a piker. “I don’t even know where this is going from” This is coming from your trash talking. “I’d say a quitter”, I like it. “A buster”, “a what, butter?” “Bus-buster” And if there is any word that ends with ‘r’ like for instance if it is say… “Amber?” Amber, ‘aymber’. “Faster”, “Fayster”. Alright that’s it, Okay. And that’s how you speak New Zealand 101.